Dear Aaron Eckhart,

I have a lot of admiration for you. You’ve had wonderful performances in some truly awesome films –In the Company of Men, Erin Brokovitch (you’re the best thing in it) and of course, Thank You for Smoking.  Hell, I used that film to teach Speech class! But lately, I’ve been disappointed by you.

What’s going on with your current offerings of films?  We already know how poor No Reservations is — it’s laughable.  And now, this new trailer for Meet Bill, which keeps polluting my morning news show TV.  Why oh why are you in a movie with Jessica Alba?  Frankly sir, I do not want to meet Bill. Not ever.  I want to become reacquainted with the talented Aaron Eckhart, wherever he ran off to. 

Sincerely,

9 to 5 Poet

PS If you screw up The Dark Knight, me and my friends are going to cry.